i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
