I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
