Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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