So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
