Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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