Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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