Welp...herpes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
