Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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