He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
