quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
