So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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