he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
