I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she looked like the before picture.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
