i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
