shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
