Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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