He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize