I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
