I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
