There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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