i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This is classic penis vs brain.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
