I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
