i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
