I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
