Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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