I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
