after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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