Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
