"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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