I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
