dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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