how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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