his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
