Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
