How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
