I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
