I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
