I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
