I'm going to jail i love you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
