she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
