and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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