My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
