I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
