Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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