I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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