dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize