my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
