spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
