i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize