The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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