Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
