I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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