how can u be prego again
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize