it wasn't lemon gatorade
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
what day is it and did you see me today?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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