Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
