i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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