I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize