no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
