Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
